What kind of leader are you?
How to use your strengths to focus your leadership style…
Last week, we hosted our first Women’s Leadership event — a milestone for us at Connect — led by two esteemed executive coaches from our highly curated network, Yifhat Arnstein and Divinia Knowles. The roundtable discussion was saw fifteen fearless females from companies in our portfolio come together to think through this question. While men and women certainly exhibit different leadership styles and challenges, many of the event’s takeaways can benefit any and all leaders. Our one-hour session packed a whole lot of insights to keep our minds reeling long after we signed off. Here are a few that stood out…
Find your authentic executive persona
If someone were to ask you what kind of leader you were, what would you say? Are you hands-on, relaxed, supportive, straightforward, subtle, risk-averse, bold? What are your top two key strengths as a manager? It’s a loaded question, and there is much to say on the subject.
Yif highlighted that contrary to popular belief, being a good leader doesn’t mean being a jack-of-all-trades. In fact, the strength-based approach values the opposite: put your time and energy towards your strengths, and encourage your teams to do the same. You’ll feel more confident, energised, and clear, which will have a ripple effect on those around you.
👊 Standout resource: StandOut — Strengths Assessment
Cultivate emotional intelligence above intellectual prowess
Author Daniel Goleman notably states that 25% of career development comes down to one’s IQ, whereas 75% relies on one’s EQ. For leaders, that scale tips even further towards EQ, the pillars of which include awareness of self, management of self, and awareness of others. Think exhibiting care vs. merely stating that you care, or trying to understand why members of your team are behaving a certain way vs. merely judging their output.
This is so important to us at Connect, and is the very reason we launched (Dis)Connect, our annual Founders Retreat. Every year, we come up with exercises and activities to foster this emotional connection and development, like getting comfortable giving feedback, understanding how to be brilliant without burning out, reflecting on the dangers of founder guilt, and learning how to map and understand your energy. We’ve received great feedback from participating execs in our portfolio, which reinforces why this leadership pillar is so essential for rising startups.
👊 Standout resource: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Create a psychologically safe work environment
Nine years ago, Google embarked on an initiative dubbed Project Aristotle to uncover how to optimise team performance. The core learning from this extensive research revolved around the idea of psychological safety, i.e. the sense that interpersonal risk-taking is acceptable, that speaking up will not be punished, and that trust and respect allow team members to be themselves.
Divinia told us about one particularly moving story, where a mid-level Google manager shared his Stage 4 cancer diagnosis with his disconnected team. This show of vulnerability became a key turning point for the team’s success, proving that trust and empathy were far more important and relevant than process optimisations, company hierarchy, or academic degrees.
👊 Standout resource: New York Times article on Project Aristotle
Be kind, not nice
Conflict isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, conflict is often an important catalyst for growth. This applies to both personal and professional relationships, and psychologist and author, Liane Davey, unpacks some of its stigmas in her book, The Good Fight. A favourite tip to emerge is to change how we think about being “nice” and focus more on being “kind.” Would you not rather be described as “kind” vs “nice? “Nice” is very passive — it’s pleasant, agreeable, satisfactory. Being “kind” is a choice — you’re friendly, generous, considerate — Think of it this way: being candid about an issue is far kinder than thinking something negative and not expressing it. It’s small shifts like these that go a long way.
👊 Standout resource: The Good Fight by Liane Davey
Embrace the occasional “Oh well”
Executive leadership coach and author, Marshall Goldsmith, wrote a book called What Got You Here Won’t Get You There which detailed some of the subtle behaviours that prevent executives from rising to the top of their career paths. When he realised that many of his tips left out certain more female-oriented habits, he teamed up with leadership expert, Sally Helgesen, to write How Women Rise to fill in those gaps. The twelve habits detailed in the book are all worth a deeper read, as well as the suggested methods to rise above them.
One method that stood out to us was to embrace the occasional “oh well.” Giving a keynote and forgot your dress shirt? “Oh well!” On a Zoom call and your child starts wailing? “Oh well!” Noticed a typo in that last newsletter you sent? “Oh well!” Holding onto perfectionism will only hold you back.
👊 Standout resource: How Women Rise, by Sally Helgesen & Marshall Goldsmith
Cultivate bravery
Brené Brown says it best: “Leadership is […] about the willingness to step up, put yourself out there, and lean into courage.” Whether you’re a hungry founder, a seasoned COO, a mid-level team lead, or a fledgling coordinator, being a leader will trigger tough conversations, uncomfortable decisions, and colossal introspection. You’ll need a good deal of courage to face and rise above them, not just for yourself, but for the good of your team.
👊 Standout resource: Dare to Lead by Brené Brown; or find her on Netflix and your favourite podcast platforms
If we had to name one common thread from this Women’s Leadership Event, it would be that being a good leader is inextricable from being a good human. On that note, we’ll leave you with a quick exercise we did, which works best in a small group.
Take a pen and paper, and with your non-dominant hand (to activate the more creative side of your brain), take a minute to finish this sentence: “My leadership style is like…” Use a metaphor or analogy, and don’t think about it too much. (No, we won’t give you an example because we don’t want to influence your answer!) Share your completed sentence with your group and ask them to express which adjectives come to mind. If these descriptors resonate with you, claim them and reflect on them. If they don’t, let them go. This should help you define what kind of leader you are and how you want to lead, which at the end of the day, is up to you. If you do undertake the exercise, fancy sharing the outcome in the comments below?
